How To Find Your Purpose
A System For Finding Your Purpose
It’s kind of wild to say but I can confidently say, that I’ve helped multiple clients find their purpose. Lately, I’ve been refining that process and I wanted to share.
Dharma
First let’s establish the term that I use for purpose. When I’m helping clients find their purpose I don’t actually use the term purpose. I use the word dharma. It’s a Sanskrit word that roughly translates to duty/purpose. The reason I use this word instead of purpose is because often times when you talk to someone about what they think their purpose is they will tell you some aspirational goal like “I want to cure cancer.” This may come from a good place but is ultimately based in ego. It is a comparison of where the person is or where the world is and where they want to be. The problem is that one of two things is likely to happen with a purpose like this.
The goal is so far removed from where they currently are that every step they take will feel insignificant. Over time they lost motivation/become discouraged because they feel like they aren’t getting anywhere or because they feel like the goal is impossible.
Maybe they accomplish their goal. Okay now what? They have accomplished their life’s purpose…now life is meaningless?
Systems Over Goals
So the reason that I like dharma is because the “duty” aspect of it implies action. It’s about systems instead of goals. For example, let’s say you want to save a million dollars. Go ahead. Save a million dollars right now. You can’t do it. It’s impossible. What you can do right now is set up an automatic transfer with your bank account to automatically transfer 10% of your check into an investment account. By doing this you wind up accomplishing the goal as a side effect. The same is true of dharma.
Dharma is How You Help People
Normally when I start to ask people about their dharma they’ll say something along the lines of “Well I love helping people.” This is along the right track but dharma is how you like to help people or help the world. So think about times that you have helped people that have been fulfilling for you and start to pay attention to the way in which you help people. Do you help people by making them laugh? Do you help people by connecting them to yourself and others? As you list examples you’ll start to see commonalities between how you help people.
What Makes Your Dharma Important to You?
Now that you have identified the way in which you help people we need to identify what makes that important to you. What makes that particular form of helping people matter to you? Usually this is informed by your past. What we choose to give to the world is normally dictated by the circumstances that you grew up in. Essentially your circumstances adjust the perspective that you see the world from and therefore the perspective that you take when it comes to helping.
Calibration
Now that you know how you like to help people and what makes it important to you the next step is to take it out for a test drive. I want you to plug this proposed dharma into every area of your life that you can. In doing this what will almost inevitably happen is that you will find that there are some applications of your dharma that don’t have that spark even though they seem to fit in the correct category. This is where calibration comes in. Think about it like if you’re going to the dentist and they are putting in a crown. The mold may have been a little off so they may have to shave down the crown a little bit to get it to fit just right.
Compass, Jetpack, & Magnet
When your dharma is properly calibrated it will feel like a compass, a magnet, and a jetpack all in one. A compass because it will help to give your life direction. A jetpack because it will lift you up and give you drive. And a magnet because it will attract the things to you that matter and repel the things that don’t. Choices will become very clear because everything will be filtered through your dharma. Remember we’re talking about your duty/purpose here so this is going to impact every dimension of your life. That’s the whole point. Someone once asked me, “How are you so disciplined??” This is how. It is because everything that I do is driven by my dharma. The things that aren’t, I don’t concern myself with and they don’t bother me.
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