Feel Out of Control With Your Money
Coins to Comfort Series Part 1
Many of the people I work with feel completely out of control when it comes to their money. It’s not just about the numbers—there’s a deep sense of fear tied to even thinking about their finances. This makes total sense. When something looms as a huge stressor over your head, pretending it doesn’t exist can feel easier than facing it. But it’s like that trite expression—the first step to fixing a problem is admitting that you have one.
Welcome to the Coins to Comfort Series, where I'll show you how I’ve helped numerous clients not only regain control of their finances but actually feel good about their relationship with money. Each article and video in this series will break down the steps in a way that's actionable and, hopefully, a lot less terrifying than you might expect.
Confronting The Numbers
I’m going to be honest—this is the hardest part, but it’s also the most basic. Grab a piece of paper and a pencil, and let’s start simple.
First, write down your monthly net income (that's your income after taxes have been taken out, as opposed to gross income, which is before taxes—more on this later). Next, list out all your necessary expenses: rent, utilities, insurance, car payment, gas, etc. After that, jot down your discretionary expenses: Netflix, meal services, Amazon Prime, Crunchyroll, and so on. Finally, note any credit card payments you’re making.
STOP! Are you already feeling overwhelmed? Does this process feel like too much? That’s completely normal. I’ve seen firsthand how emotionally taxing it can be to confront your finances. But I’ve also seen how powerful it is to do it with someone who knows how to guide you through the fear.
One of my clients told me, “Sean is very good at tackling the uncomfortable and scary things at my own pace. It’s not as frightening to look at finances when you have someone who knows better, walking you through it, and holding you accountable.”
I'm sharing this not to brag but to invite you to a free, no-pressure call where we can look over your finances together. One person who did this felt confident enough to take control of their money after just that single call. If you think this could help you, click the button below:
Continuing on:
Now that you’ve laid everything out, add up your necessary expenses, discretionary expenses, and credit card payments. Subtract that total from your monthly income.
If the number is positive: HOORAY! The remaining amount is your guilt-free spending—money you can use however you like.
If the number is negative: That’s okay! In fact, it’s more common than you think. I often work with people who feel ashamed or afraid when they see a negative number. It makes sense; we’re constantly told we should have it all together when it comes to money, and yet, money holds so much power in our lives. But here’s the good news: the solution is simple. You have three options: spend less, make more, or do a combination of both.
Here’s what a completed budget might look like:
Monthly Income:
Net Income: $3,500
Necessary Expenses:
Rent: $1,200
Utilities (Electric, Gas, Water): $150
Groceries: $400
Insurance (Car, Health, etc.): $250
Car Payment: $300
Gas: $150
Phone Bill: $60
Student Loans: $200
Total Necessary Expenses: $2,710
Discretionary Expenses:
Netflix: $15
Amazon Prime: $15
Crunchyroll: $8
Eating Out: $100
Gym Membership: $40
Clothing: $50
Total Discretionary Expenses: $228
Credit Card Payments:
Credit Card Payment: $150
Calculation:
Total Monthly Income: $3,500
Total Expenses (Necessary + Discretionary + Credit Card): $3,088
Leftover for Guilt-Free Spending: $412
Setting Expectations
I want to pause here and clarify something important: fixing your finances is not a silver-bullet solution. It takes time, and that can be frustrating. You have every right to feel disappointed about that. But the reward is worth it. When my clients reach the other side, they feel empowered!
There’s an expression I love: “What gets tracked, improves.” Now that you’ve confronted the ambiguous beast that is your money, you need a way to track it. Here are two recommendations:
Dollarbird: This app costs $4.99 a month (not sponsored), and it’s worth every penny. Put all of your recurring expenses on the 1st of the month, regardless of when they actually come out. That way, you start each month knowing what you need to cover, and you can just track your guilt-free spending throughout the month.
Conscious Spending Plan: This Excel sheet, created by Ramit Sethi (author of I Will Teach You To Be Rich), is a simple way to keep track of your spending and see how much guilt-free money you have left.
Now, let’s look at those two options for improving your financial situation: spend less or make more.
Spend Less:
I’m not the kind of person who will tell you to pinch every penny and cut out all the fun from your life. That’s a recipe for misery and, honestly, it doesn’t work for most people. What’s more sustainable is focusing on cutting discretionary expenses that you don’t care about while keeping the ones that bring you joy. We all have those subscriptions we forgot about or expenses we barely notice—start there.
For example, I love spoiling my wife, so I spend freely on that, and it brings me happiness. But for food, I keep it simple. I eat what’s healthy and affordable because, to me, food is just fuel.
Make More:
This one is a lot more complicated but for this article we’ll start with the basics. First is being aware of your options. A lot of times when I work with clients a quick search on a job hunting site like Indeed reveals that they could have been making more without any additional training. They just didn’t know the option was out there.
So take some time to look around at jobs and whatever you do DON’T just look at jobs in your local area. We live in the 21st century baby! We are no longer limited by our location. Look at remote jobs all over the world. There’s literally a whole world of options out there for you.
IMPORTANT NOTE: While you are doing this if you see a job that sounds perfect for you but you don’t fit the job requirements perfectly, apply anyway. When it comes to career coaching, I was trained by a former Amazon VP turned career coach. He has hired literally hundreds of people and gone through thousands of applications. And even he told me that job requirements are BS. They are there to dissuade people from applying so HR doesn’t have to go through so many applications. So if something sounds good to you—apply!
The sad truth is that the job does not go to the most qualified candidate. It goes to the most qualified job hunter. Because job hunting in and of itself is a skill. And that skill is exactly what we will be going over in the next part of this series.
Could I Ask You a Favor?
What’s the most important thing you want to learn from this series? Was anything unclear? Your feedback helps me create content that’s genuinely useful to you, so please share your thoughts: